


For Comfort

by KillianJones32



Series: Jily - Cuddle Prompt List [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Mentions of Dragon Pox and James's parents, Vulnerability
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-28
Updated: 2017-09-28
Packaged: 2019-01-06 13:44:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12212463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KillianJones32/pseuds/KillianJones32
Summary: James receives bad news from Professor McGonagall and Lily finds him upset in an abandoned classroom.





	For Comfort

“Potter? What are you doing in here?”

James forces himself to look up from where his head was buried in his arms and sees the beautiful face of that voice that he fell in love with all those years ago.

Of course Lily Evans walks into the abandoned classroom that he was crying in looking as memorising as ever and he probably looks like a nightmare.

James wants to drop the arms that are clinging around his legs and stand up but he knows if he does he’ll just fall right back down again and that’ll look even more pathetic than he looks right now, sitting with his knees pulled to his chest at the back of a classroom hiding from the world.

Opening his mouth, James tries to say something, anything but no reasonable explanation comes to mind other than the truth so he closes his mouth again and unable to stand looking at Lily’s worried green eyes anymore, he turns his eyes away.

A moment later Lily says, “Just give me a minute” and James hears her footsteps walk out of the room and pull the door gently closed.

James leans his head back against the wall and shuts his eyes.

Lily and him were getting along so well, James had finally earned her respect and friendship and she truly valued him as a friend and James knew that.

They were comfortable around each other. She laughs at his jokes now, he helps her study on Fridays before their patrol. They’re civil and have good times together and now Lily had to walk in on him crying on the floor.

She’d never seen him cry before. Peter once said that James looked awful when he cried, he actually said it to him in about third year in an effort to stop him crying because they’d failed once more to turn into animagai to help Remus. His words had worked at the time as he had laughed but now it didn’t seem that funny when it was Lily seeing him cry.

But even so James can’t bring himself to care very much, his heart aches, his head is throbbing from all his crying and his hands are still trembling from where he’s brought them up to lie on his knees.

Part of James hopes Lily will come back but another part of him hopes she won’t so she doesn’t have to see him like this again.

She was probably here to tutor one of her study groups, she probably went to bring them the library instead.

Oh Merlin he hopes she didn’t go to get Sirius.

About five minutes later, the door opens again and closes soon after.

James feels his body unconsciously tense, his eyes still shut tight.

It could be Lily. But it could also be Sirius or a Professor or some kid wanting to tease the supposed high and mighty Gryffindor quidditch captain and Head Boy for being so weak.

There’s a soft sound of something or someone dropping to the ground in front of him and then James feels a small, soft hand covering his.

“James” Lily’s voice sounds so nice even as they’re saying a word she so rarely speaks, “James, can you open your eyes for me? Its just me, Lily”

If James had any energy his lips would have quirked at the ridiculous idea that James wouldn’t have known who she was. But it takes all the effort he can manage just to open his eyes and look back into those soulful eyes scanning his face.

“Hey Evans” James says but his voice comes out raspy and only now does he realise how dry his throat is and much he’d love a glass of water right now.

Lily’s thumb runs back and forth on the back of James’s hand but she probably doesn’t even realise she’s doing it.

Lily’s eyebrows are drawn together but not in frustration as he’s seen so many times before but in concern.

She’s wearing the face of a person who’s about to ask if you’re okay but Lily doesn’t ask that, because she’s Lily and she knows he wouldn’t be like this if he was okay and she’s too nice to force him to state the obvious.

“Can you tell me what happened?” Lily asks, her voice gentle and James knows that if he shook his head right now, she wouldn’t press him for an answer and she would understand.

James almost doesn’t want to explain. He’s afraid that if he opens his mouth and says the words aloud then he’ll break down again because then it’ll be true.

But it’s true anyway whether James speaks the words or not and looking at Lily, James knows he can’t deny her anything.

“It’s… It’s my parents” James chokes out, blinking back more tears that suddenly flood to the brim of his eyelashes, “They’re in Saint Mungo’s. A sudden dose of the dragonpox, it caught the both of them…it’s…Lily it’s really bad.”

Lily’s eyes widen and James feels her hand squeeze his in a way that’s not gentle but still means to be comforting.

And then Lily takes her hand from his, scoots over from where she was sitting on the floor in front of him so she can sit against the wall beside him and she wraps her arm around him and holds his hand with her other hand.

She coaxes his head onto her shoulder silently and James can’t put any fight into stopping her or any energy into reveling in being this close to Lily Evans.

McGonagall hadn’t told him how bad it was. But he’d seen the look in her eyes when she suggested he floo there this evening.

It was urgent. It was her saying without words that he should see them this evening because his parents mightn’t be there tomorrow.

James chocked back a sob and let his body fall slack in Lily’s arms.  
“I’ve to tell Sirius” James whispers, tears falling down his face “He doesn’t know…Lily they’re his parents too in all but blood, he…he’s going to be crushed and I’ve to tell him and we’ve to go to Saint Mungo’s before dinner and I couldn’t even make it to the common room, how am I going to tell him?”

James realises Lily’s hand is rubbing his shoulder now so maybe the thumb rubbing on his hand from before wasn’t accidental but again he can’t focus on it because all he sees in his head are his parents.

His parents who are always alight with laughter and happiness.

His father telling everyone boring historical facts that nobody cares about over the dinner table and his mother nudging James in their own secret joke of ‘Merlin will he ever shut up?’ but when he’d look at her she’d still be smiling and nodding along to whatever her husband was saying because she loved him and wanted to encourage him as much as she could, just as she always did with James.

His mother telling him last summer he was perfect just the way he was and that she loved him more than the world when he confessed to her that he thought he really would never be good enough for Lily Evans and that he was all the awful things she used to say he was even after he worked so hard to change to be a better person, not just for her but for himself and to make his parents proud.

When fourteen year old James nervously asked his father if he was expected to follow in his father’s footsteps and join his business after Hogwarts, Fleamont Potter sat him down on the couch and reminded him that he was an excellent quidditch player and if he gave up on his dream of joining the professional league to take over his own hair product business he’d never forgive him.

And now when James was supposed to be grabbing his parents’ surrogate son and going to see them when they needs them the most, he’s sobbing on the floor of an abandoned classroom.

The sorting house may have sorted him into Gryffindor but maybe inside he was just a fucking coward.

“I’ll go with you” Lily whispers “Not to Saint Mungo’s of course that’s for you and Sirius but I’ll go with you to tell Sirius.”

James says thank you or at least he tries to but either the words won’t come out or he’s too drained to speak them but either way he knows Lily knows.

They sit like that for a moment and then Lily says, “James? You’re…you’re one of the strongest people I know. You can do this. You’ve every right to fall apart but you can be strong for just a little bit more. I know you can. If you breakdown afterwards and can’t get back up then I’ll be there and so will Sirius and Remus and Peter and we’ll help you. I promise James. But for now you need to be the bravest you have ever been and stand and we need to see Sirius.”

James closes his eyes, takes a deep breath in and out and then another before he nods and slides his head out from where it rested on Lily’s shoulder.

“Okay” James says, opening his eyes and taking out his wand, he mutters a charm under his breath that he often used for Remus after a full moon and then a tall glass of water appears in front of him, he downs the content quickly and then licks his lips and lets out a long sigh as he wipes the leftover tears from his cheeks.

Lily smiles at him with a smile that reads a mixture of different things:

I’m here for you

I know you’re not okay but I’ll stick with you until you will be

You can do this

I’m so sorry

And right in that moment after all the years of doubt and jokes and ignorance, James realises how lucky he is to have Lily Evans as his friend and he’s not surprised at all at how easily it was to fall in love with her.

They stand and Lily ignores how James has to grip the wall to find the strength to stand on two feet.

She takes his hand in hers and squeezes twice before letting go.

James picks up the empty glass, places it on the table and pushes up the glasses on his nose that got a bit stained from his crying but he doesn’t really care right now.

Now he needs to see Sirius.

He needs to be there for him when he falls apart just like James did and hopefully James or perhaps Remus can pick Sirius up like Lily did for James, even if it's just temporary so they can go to see his parents.

So they can go and say goodbye.


End file.
